Day 6: The Weight of 23…

There are moments where the weight of my 23 students feels too much because I agonize over their well-being, academic and otherwise. Today, I could feel the muscles in my shoulders tense as I graded each question and felt my energy drain from the disappointment. Not disappointment in them, an overwhelming disappointment in myself.

Teaching is not for the faint of heart. There are times, like today, where you question your own ability, you question whether or not you did enough for them. Even though I finished grading hours ago, I can’t shake this feeling, I can’t stop thinking about why they had not succeeded like I had expected. I know that these are the moments where you see what you are made of, you see how well you can bounce back.

Tomorrow is a new day, a day to be better for them, all twenty-three.

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5 thoughts on “Day 6: The Weight of 23…

  1. Keep your head up! You can lead a horse to water but can’t always make him drink. You’re doing an amazing job, we just need to keep pushing. I will probably feel the same once I grade mine. We still have time!!

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  2. I appreciate Mark’s encouraging comment above, and I agree. We’ll take a closer lok tomorrow, but please do keep your head up.

    I felt so bummed after I saw your email. Bummed and surprised. I don’t get it. 😦

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  3. Carol T says:

    Maybe they need more time to digest the material and make it their own. I wonder why as teachers we are so hard on ourselves? Tomorrow is another day. You’ll be great.

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  4. Yup! Teaching is unlike other jobs in that if you do it well it is hard to ever be ‘not at work’. They are in our hearts and minds. Learning how to let it go and know that we are doing our best – to know that the weight of their futures is NOT solely on our shoulders can be tough. Hang in there!

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  5. Sigh- we are so hard on ourselves as teachers. I agree with others that there may be many reasons for what you are seeing. Ultimately we can only control what we can control and it comes down to the kids, but I also always take it a bit too personally. Maybe tomorrow is the day for them to show more of what they know and can do.

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